Like an all-consuming fire ready to devour everything in its path, our addictions threaten to take over every facet of our lives. Every second of the day we think about our next “fix” and will move heaven and earth to ensure that we satisfy our voracious appetites. Many people associate addictions exclusively with drugs, alcohol and other substances but the truth is that there are so many other addictions that plague our lives that we may even fail to realise. Some of us have addictions to food, others to sex, and others to people. My addiction is to a person…someone who consumes my thoughts and who I care about deeply and I have come to realise that this is an addiction I need to overcome. My thoughts led me to the formulate the following tips for overcoming my strong addiction to the man who presently has my heart.
Understand His Desire
Let’s face it, if a man doesn’t want to be with you he simply just doesn’t want to be with you. Nothing you can do or say can change that so, it would be best for you to come out of denial and accept the fact that his desire is to only be your friend. This doesn’t make you any less attractive or appealing and should not send you into a state of self-pity. I am slowly understanding the desire of this man as well as the fact that I need to continue valuing and cherishing his friendship. I need to allow him to move on with his life in the same way that I need to move on with mine.
Gradually Eliminate the Addiction’s Source
People who want to stop smoking cigarettes don’t begin the process by stopping smoking completely. Instead, they gradually train themselves to smoke 1 pack of cigarettes per day instead of 2 until they get to the stage where they no longer need to smoke any at all. The same is true with an addiction to a person. In order for the addiction to fade, you need to gradually train yourself to spend less time with him or her and call him or her less. Overtime your desire to have him or her as an important part of your life will lessen. This doesn’t mean that you have to get rid of the person altogether (though this may be necessary in some cases). Instead, it means that you lessen your dependency on him or her.
Acquire a Good Addiction
Not all addictions are bad. Some people, for example, are addicted to playing music…they have to play a note at least once per day or they feel as though their day is incomplete. Find an addiction that will uplift you and allow you to use your talents. As you immerse yourself in this new addiction, you will find that your ‘bad addiction’ diminishes.
Once you recognise your addiction you should do whatever you can to overcome it and, as you overcome it, you will truly be able to become the person you were meant to be. Learn to let go.