Becoming the Woman He Wants

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Some good women really struggle to hold on to the men they want in their lives. They give their all in a relationship and still end up being cheated on or in a “one sided” relationship where the man shows very little interest.  These women constantly ask themselves “How do I make him want me and only me?” The answer is something that very few women have found and mastered…it all begins with YOU. Although the characteristics a man desires to have in a woman differs from  one individual to the next, there are certain desirable characteristics that most men search for.

Confidence

You could be the smallest or least talented person in the world but when you love yourself and understand your strengths, the confidence you exude is magnetic. Men love women who are secure with who they are and are able to appreciate themselves. As some of my friends put it “There’s just something incredibly sexy about a confident woman”. If you are constantly belittling yourself your man is going to get tired of it eventually even if he doesn’t express this to you. So, begin to view yourself in a positive light and stop expecting him to do that for you. When you know and show that you can stand in front of a crowd and deliver an awesome speech or look incredibly sexy in an elegant black dress, he will be proud to have you at his side and shower you with compliments that you didn’t even expect. Appreciate what God has blessed you with and make it work for you and instead of wishing for more, love what you already have.

You Make Him HAPPY

If you make your man feel like he is a bad person and that he can’t do anything right, he is going to become unhappy. yes, you should be able to challenge each other to become better people but that doesn’t mean that you should constantly highlight his flaws. Show your appreciation for all the good he does and all the good he is and be his support as he gradually makes positive changes in his life. Don’t pressure him but love him and be patient with him. Make him feel good and he will want to stay.

Don’t Pester

Men don’t like nagging women. He doesn’t need you to call him every minute of the day. Give him a little breathing room and TRUST him. Trusting him doesn’t mean that you’re going to be stupid, however. If he is cheating (and you have evidence to prove this) then you need to confront him about it and decide if it’s time for you to leave or time to try to mend your relationship.

Let Him Be a Man

When I go out with someone (and I have some funds available), I have this tendency to want to foot the bill especially when I believe the person is having a rough time financially. It is a bad practice to adopt,however, because a man should be allowed to play his role in a relationship. When you begin to take over, he begins to shrink into the background and that makes him feel less like a man. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you should take advantage of him and make ludicrous requests like asking him to pay for a trip to Italy when you know he can’t afford it. Also, I’m not saying that you can’t pick up the bill from time to time especially when his pocket is tight. However, you should allow him to play his role as provider and not allow him to become complacent.

Sex

Physical intimacy is an important aspect of a relationship. If he isn’t getting “good loving” from you he will find elsewhere. Although I believe that sex should be reserved for marriage, it doesn’t negate the fact that it is critical to the health of a relationship. The love that is expressed during sex between two people who love each other is a love that can’t be expressed verbally. Don’t neglect your man’s sexual needs.

Add Spice 

Have you ever tried making a cake and added a little nutmeg or cinnamon to it? These sole additions can transform an ordinary cake into something exceptionally delicious. The same is true for relationships. The more adventure there is in a relationship is the stronger it becomes. Find time to date and go to places you’ve never been. You’d be surprised by how much you learn about each other and how much stronger your bond becomes after each new adventure. Be someone he can have fun with.

With all of this said, the truth of the matter is that there is always the possibility that he may just not be the right man for you. However, if he is and he really wants to be with you then I believe these tips will help you become the woman he wants.

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