Have you ever had someone in your life who you don’t want to give your heart to but find it so hard not to? He’s the good friend who you think has forgotten you but always finds a way to show that he hasn’t. He’s the one who sometimes says the simplest things that cause butterflies to flutter in your stomach. He is the guy who you think you’re special to and although you know that’s far from the truth, your heart still skips a beat every time you look into his eyes. How do you deal with these emotions when you know deep down in your heart that he is not the right guy for you?
Think About All the Things You Dislike
Quite a few of my friends have told me to focus on the negatives in the individual’s personality and beliefs. Although that hasn’t worked for me it is a true concept. Negative thoughts yield negative reactions and if you think about them rationally you will begin to question what you ever saw in the person in the first place.
The reason this advice never worked for me is because my mind would always choose to look at the many positives the person has and I would rationalize that the positive qualities outweigh the bad qualities. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that if the man you’re attracted to beats you or belittles you that you should overlook that. Those are clear reasons not to stay in the relationship or even encourage a relationship and you would be a fool to overlook those things. What I am saying is that no one is perfect and I choose to look at the good qualities in him. This has not been healthy for me as I have become blind sided. Oftentimes, it is much better to listen to our minds than our hearts.
Stop Giving Him “Boyfriend” Status
This guy and I are not together…never have been and I am 99.9% sure we never will be but I still treat him like a boyfriend. I want to spend time with him and want to go out with him and be seen as important to him. I expect him to respect me enough not to be with other women. These expectations have, of course, caused me to get hurt. Why give a man boyfriend status if he has no intention of being your man? HE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND…live with it.
Maintain a Safe Distance
I don’t know about you but when I am around a man I am really attracted to and possibly even in love with, there is always some electricity when we’re around each other. Keeping my distance helps me to squelch the flames instead of igniting them. Ensuring that there is physical distance between you and the person while you are in his presence also helps. Learn to resist and keep away from things that will only bring more harm to your heart.
Love is something we all tend to take lightly sometimes. However, it is a very serious commitment and when you get your heart entangled with someone who is both incompatible with you and has no desire to commit his heart to you, you will end up damaged. It is hard to mend broken pieces so try not to create them in the first place.