Warm fingers caressing your body. Sweet kisses on your lips. These are the ways in which the media has caused us to view intimacy…the coming together of two people in blissful coitis(as Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang theory likes to call it).
Although I am not discrediting that physical intimacy creates a deep “soul connection” between two people who are in love, I would like to challenge this by saying that it is not the “be all and end all” of the intimacy needed in a relationship. There are three types of intimacy that I believe a relationship must have:
1. Spiritual Intimacy
When the Bible speaks about a man and woman becoming one I think it goes far beyond the uniting of two bodies in sex. Both the woman and the man in the relationship should be so connected to God that they each have to seek Him in order to find each other. When they have found each other, that spiritual intimacy should result in them being able to spend time together learning more about God and deepening their relationship with Him. The closer they are to God is the stronger their relationship will be.
2. Mental Intimacy
A couple should be able to relate on an intellectual level and should become so close that they are able to read each others thoughts. How do you develop this mental intimacy? This mental intimacy can be developed by communicating with each other regularly and getting involved in activities that you both enjoy. As you take the time get to know each other more, your bond will strengthen.
3. Physical Intimacy
As I said earlier, I am not discrediting the fact that there is a need for physical intimacy in a relationship. However, we do need to be careful of how far we take this intimacy before marriage because if it leads to sex, our souls unite with that of the one we are intimate with. Let me put it this way…have you ever wondered why it is so hard for you to let go of someone you have been physically intimate with? It is difficult because that intimacy leads to a uniting of souls…a bond that is very hard to break. Physical intimacy between two people who are in love can be magically but I believe it should be reserved for marriage and should also be explored after the other forms of intimacy have been developed.
Spiritual, mental and physical intimacy combine to bring us into a “true love” experience. The strongest relationships are those in which all three elements are actively pursued and maintained. Let’s not follow popular culture and minimize our relationships to sex. Instead, let’s deepen the bonds with our partners through placing more emphasis on physical and spiritual intimacy.